


The Book of Revelations

by siderealSandman



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Additional Tags to Be Added, Angst, Armbars, Butt Identification, Catboys Crying, Emotional/Psychological Abuse (outside pairings), F/M, Family Loss, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Identity Reveal, Minor Injuries, One Shot Collection, Reveal Fic, Touch-Starved, Unapolagetic Sentimentality, Wedding Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-13
Updated: 2016-03-02
Packaged: 2018-05-20 03:01:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5989717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siderealSandman/pseuds/siderealSandman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes an answer is right in front of your face and you just can't see it until one little thing falls into place and makes everything clear. </p><p>All Reveal Fics; all the time. A collection of Reveal One-Shots ranging from silly to not so silly. Content warnings will be before each chapter. Open to prompt suggestions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Aftercare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which team LadyNoir gets rekt in an Akuma Fight and Marinette notices a suspicious bruise on Adrien...
> 
> Pairings: Adrinette with a side of LadyNoir.  
> Who Finds Out: Marinette, Adrien.  
> Content Warnings: Minor abuse mentions.  
> Tags: Gratuitous fluff. Hand kissing. Crying catboys. Fake Spanish. Freaking car tires

“A-are you okay?”

The concern in Chat Noir’s voice coupled with the fact that he seemed to have dropped his usual pet-names was almost enough to distract Marinette from the dull throbbing pain in her side. Of course, she _had_ been hit with a flying car tire flung by a particularly vicious akuma (with mother _freaking_ tentacles no less) so she would have traded all the concern in the universe for a bottle of aspirin and an ice pack.

“I’m fine,” Marinette murmured, glancing down at the angry red patch of skin on her side just above her hip. Her costume had done wonders to absorb most of the damage but magical or no, she still had a _car tire_ whipped at her by an akuma that looked like Hawkmoth got him from the set of a low budget sci-fi thriller. Or a Japanese dating game.

She didn’t know which she was more frightened of.

“Really?” Chat Noir asked, wincing as he hauled the pair of them over the ledge of the building and gently deposited her into a deck chair by a rooftop pool.

“Noooooo,” Marinette hissed as her irritated skin made contact with the cold plastic chair. “He threw a _freaking_ car tire at me!”

“I saw,” Chat Noir sighed dropping to a knee and pressing his face into the pool chair’s mesh. “Good throw though; you would have thought he was an Olympic discus thrower instead of a race car driver…”

“I think he was,” Marinette said, yelping a little as she gently poked the tender rash that was beginning to bruise. “Olympic discus thrower who was angry about his racing career not taking off.”

“Ah,” Chat Noir said with a pained laugh. "That's...annoyingly specific."

"Tell me about it," Marinette grunted, fidgeting as the cool evening air only aggravated the magically lethal road rash.

“S-so…what was with the tentacles?” Chat Noir said with a small wince.

“No clue...and you know what?’ Marinette said, trying to patch the torn piece of her uniform back over the injury. “I don’t want to know.”

“Some questions better left unanswered eh?” Chat Noir chuckled, leaning back to stand up before falling forward with a grunt.

“Are _you_ okay?” Marinette tried to sit up to see what was the matter but the simple act of leaning forward to check on her partner caused her injury to flare up and sent her back to the deck chair, biting back a curse as she did.

“Y-Your concern for my well-being warms my heart,” Chat Noir said, flashing a slightly shaky smile as he seemed to be clutching his side with one hand.

“Did he get you?” Marinette said, ignoring the pain in her side as she swung her legs over the side of the deck chair until a foot rested on the rooftop on either side of Chat’s knees.

“Just a scratch,” Chat Noir said, moving to cover up his stomach as she leaned in. She could tell his suit was ripped a little from the way the fabric was ripped and despite his best efforts, she could see patches of red, angry skin under his glove.

“Let me see,” Marinette insisted, ignoring the shooting pain in her side as she tried to move his hand out of the way.

“Thanks, Bugaboo, but I-I promise I’m-,” Chat Noir laughed, trying to cover a wince as Marinette gently tugged his elbow enough to reveal a long, thin, red welt that seemed to wrap around his stomach like a thick red belt.

“Oh my _god_ , what did he do to you?!” Marinette gasped as Chat turned away almost unconsciously.

“Oh, j-just got a little careless, that’s all,” Chat Noir said with a half-hearted wave that seemed to pain him. “Wasn't really expecting tentacles today, you know? I mean...I don't think I ever expect tentacles-"

"Chat."

"B-but it's nothing to trouble yourself with, My Lady; I’ll be right as rain by the morn-“

“Let me see,” Marinette demanded, brushing her hair behind her ears and sliding forward a little until she was all but kneeling on top of him. The fact that she was effectively sliding into Chat Noir’s lap was lost under a small wave of concern for her partner. Chat tensed a little as he suddenly found Ladybug on top of him, the soft fabric of her gloves lightly peeling away the damaged fabric around his injury and squinting to take a better look at it in the fading evening light.

“Doesn’t look like you got cut,” Marinette sighed, pulling her hands back as she was suddenly and painfully reminded of her own injury. “As long some ice on that or something you should be fine.”

“It doesn’t hurt or anything, it just-“He was about to protest when her hand reached up, cupping his face and tracing along the underside of his mask, effectively silencing him.

“Liar,” Marinette clucked, shaking her head. “You don’t have to pretend to be such a tough guy…that must sting like crazy, huh?”

“It’s…it’s fine,” Chat Noir assured her, glancing down to avoid her gaze. She felt his hand on her side peel away the tattered strip over her own injury and in the dim light she could see a disappointed and uncharacteristic frown cross his features.

“I’ll be fine,” She said, slowly getting up out of his lap as she felt his fingers trail down her hip as she stood up.

“Who’s being the tough guy now?” Chat asked, lips curling into a small smile.

“Ah, but I _am_ tough though,” She chuckled, sticking her tongue out at Chat.

“Never doubted it,” He said, brushing himself off. They would be feeling this for days but other than her pride, nothing was seriously injured. After so much time fighting akuma without injury, she supposed her luck would have to run out eventually and, if anything, Chat seemed to be more preoccupied with her injury than she was.

“Fancy a lift?” He asked, slowly getting to his feet. “I could uh...take you home.”

“You don’t even know where _home_ is you silly cat,” Marinette chuckled, lightly flicking the bell on Chat’s collar.

“ _Near_ home then?” Chat Noir said hopefully. After so many nights spent together on the rooftops of France, the idea of revealing their identities to one another had come up in passing but Marinette wasn’t quite ready to give out her home address to her partner (partly out of a well justified fear that she would wake up one morning to find him sleeping in her chair like a real cat would.)

"I'm sure you have people waiting up for you," Marinette sighed, hoping her suit had some self-healing factor built into it so she wouldn't have to patch it up herself.

"Not really," Chat Noir mumbled quietly, earning a small frown from his partner.

"I'm sorry?" Marinette asked as Chat Noir blanched a little, apparently surprised that she had heard him.

"I-I meant to say that uh...n-nothing could possibly be more important to me than seeing My Lady home safely!" Chat Noir said with a large and only slightly shaky smile. Marinette rolled her eyes, looking away as Chat breathed a small sigh of relief.

“I said I’ll be fine, didn’t I? Besides, if anyone should be offering a ride here, it should be me offering you one,” Marinette respond.

"I'll remind you that _you_ don't know where _I_ live any more than I know where you live," Chat Noir said.

"I was actually just going to drop you off at the local animal shelter," Marinette said, laughing at the indignant yowl that slipped out of Chat Noir's throat.

"Y-you wouldn't!" Chat squeaked.

"Aw I'm sure you'd be adopted before long," Marinette snorted, flicking Chat's tail as she passed. "Maybe by a granny from Nice with a nice tabby you can date."

"I'd much rather be adopted by _you_ My- _mgnh_ ," Chat Noir trailed off, hand on the railing as he clutched at his stomach.

"You know you're _much_ suaver when you're not doubled over in pain," Marinette said, doubling back with a small frown.

"S-so you admit I'm suave," Chat Noir said, trying to look like he was casually leaning on the ledge like he wasn't a moment away from whimpering in discomfort.

"Chat...are you sure you're-" A pair of identical beeps caught her attention and by the time she looked back, Chat had regained a semblance of composure.

“Midnight approaches,” Chat Noir sighed, running a hand through his hair with a small smile. Marinette stared at him critically for a moment, glancing back at his wound before shaking her head in defeat.

“Better get home before you turn into a pumpkin,” Marinette sighed, heading over to the edge of the roof before glancing back, biting the corner of her lip. “…if you’re feeling up to it, you want to meet up tomorrow?"

"You expect another attack?" Chat Noir winced.

"Not really," Marinette said, rocking back and forth on her heels. "I just want to-"

_Make sure you're okay._

"-debrief," Marinette finished, cheeks pinkening as she realized the tomcat was going to pounce on her choice of words.

“How _forward_ of you,” Chat Noir chuckled, eyes closing and face splitting into a wide, toothy grin. “I didn’t know you spent so much time thinking about my briefs but if you’d like to debrief me all you need to do is-”

He opened his eyes to find her gone, red and black figure zipping across the Parisian skyline so quickly she must’ve left the moment he started talking.

“…fair enough,” Chat Noir muttered to himself, wincing as he limped his way towards the fire escape. “That was in bad taste, wasn’t it? Yeah…definitely in bad taste…”

* * *

 “Are you sure you got this?”

“Of course,” Marinette said, waving Alya off as she hefted a box full of back issues of school newspapers out of Alya’s hands while trying to ignore the throbbing pain in her side. “I s-said I’d help you clear this out, didn’t I?”

“I think falling down the stairs onto a bread machine and bruising your side gets you off the hook,” Alya clucked sympathetically, holding the door open for Marinette as she staggered towards the dumpster outside.

“We’re almost done though,” Marinette said, biting back a small grunt of discomfort as she lobbed the box inside the dumpster. The battle with the racecar driving, discus throwing, tentacle man the night before was almost enough to get Marinette to call in sick for a day (she was pretty sure having _freaking_ tires thrown at you is grounds to skip a day of school) were it not for the fact that Alya was counting on her to help clean out the old classroom after class.

Part of her was anxious to get home to submerge her throbbing, bruised self in the biggest tub of ice she could find and just check out for the rest of the night. Another part of her kept thinking back to the ugly red and purple bruise she glimpsed on Chat Noir’s stomach the night before, as though a heavyweight boxer had hit the boy with a belt as hard as he could. A nagging, niggling worry crept into the back of her mind and several times during class she found herself idly scrolling through Web MD on her phone to see if there were any warning signs of internal injury consistent with getting punched in the stomach. For all she knew Chat had ruptured his spleen or something which, if the internet doctors were to be believed, meant that he had less than twenty-four hours to get to the hospital before-

Marinette shook her head quickly, wiping her hands off on the back of her pants as she headed back inside. She wasn’t doing anyone any good worrying about Chat when she didn’t even know if he was in any danger. Her suit had done an amazing job absorbing most of the impact (and knitted itself back together when she transformed to check this morning) and even though he had looked far worse for wear, the fact that he was still in the mood to make jokes when she left must’ve meant he wasn’t in that much pain.

She would meet him at the usual spot later to debrief (her lips fought a smirk at the thought of that word) if he wasn’t there then…she could cross that bridge when she got to it. For now, she had boxes to move…hopefully without blacking out from the pain in her side.

“Which means you should probably quit while you’re ahead,” Adrien remarked, taping another box of old magazines shut and passing it off to Nino. He shot her a sympathetic smile which sent a small flush of heat rushing to her face. She may have been bludgeoned by a tire-wielding kraken driver from hell the day before but she would have to be dead and buried in the ground before she bailed on Alya…or missed an opportunity to spend time with Adrien.

She stole a glance at him out of the corner of his eye as he lifted another box, watching a small flash of pain cross his face as Nino took the box from him. Adrien had been withdrawn all day, not necessarily sullen or mopey but definitely not firing on all cylinders either. He had nearly dropped off a couple of times in class and as the four of them moved to help Alya with her after school project, Marinette couldn’t help but notice him wincing or grimacing when he thought no one was looking.

She supposed she wasn't the only one who had a rough night.

“Think that’s the last of the old magazines,” Nino said, dusting his hands off as he came back inside to a near simultaneous pair of sighs of relief from Adrien and Marinette. “Can we call it for today? Maybe leave the rest to the actual club members if they show?”

“What do you mean _if_?” Alya said, narrowing her eyes at Nino. “I can’t be the only aspiring journalist at this school, can I?”

“I’m sure you’ll get plenty of applicants,” Nino said, raising his hands. “And when you do, you can make them haul the rest of this dusty crap out as the club president slash founder slash Holy Journalism Tyrant for Life.”

“I…that’s a good point,” Alya said, tapping her chin thoughtfully. “Didn’t think of using freshman as a labor source before…”

“Thank you,” Nino said, leaning against the doorframe. “Can we split? That Composition paper isn’t going to write itself.”

“What are you so worried about?” Alya sighed as Marinette started packing her things up. “That’s not due next Friday.”

"Uh...no actually it's due tomorrow," Adrien said with a small frown.

“…you know today is the fifteenth, right?” Marinette said as Alya frowned, tilting her head as she took a look at her phone.

“Eh, I’ll just do it tonight,” Alya shrugged, grabbing her bag and heading out with Nino.

“I-It’s fifteen pages! You can’t do that in one night!” Nino’s voice cried from the hall.

“Don’t underestimate the Holy Journalism Tyrant for Life,” Alya said sternly, sticking her head back in the room. “Coming?”

“Yeah just give me a sec,” Marinette said, nodding after Nino. Alya glanced over to Adrien as his head was down before shooting Marinette a knowing nod and a wink before disappearing, leaving the pair of them alone as Alya’s footsteps disappeared down the hall.

“You don’t have to wait up for me,” Adrien said, hastily gathering his things as he bent over with a barely perceptible grunt. “I-I’m sure you’ve got somewhere you need to be.”

“Not really,” Marinette shrugged, leaning on a desk and idly punching a few keys on one of the older keyboards while she waited. “I took care of the Comp paper last weekend so I don’t really have anything I need to do tonight.”

“…can Alya really do fifteen pages in one night?” Adrien chuckled.

“She’s done more in less time,” Marinette chuckled, glancing down to fidget with her blouse. “She’s been able to pull out some pretty stunning essays out of nowhere.”

“I believe it,” Adrien chuckled, slowly moving to stand up as Marinette bend over to pick up her bag. “I remember that paper she did for History where she actually convinced the teacher that Robespierre was actually pretty reasonable and- _ah_!”

Marinette looked up in time to see Adrien try to rise out of his chair before a pained look crossed his face and he fell back a little too hard clutching his stomach and sending the small, flimsy chair tipping over. Before she could reach him, he spilled to the ground with a crash and a grunt, clutching his stomach and sucking in breath as Marinette dropped her bag and dashed over to him.

“Adrien!” She cried, kneeling down beside him as he rolled over onto his back. “Are you okay?”

“Fine,” He wheezed, struggling to push himself up as though he were more embarrassed than in pain. “J-just- _mngh_ -stomach cramps; th-that’s all.”

“A-Are you sure?” Marinette said, as he leaned back a little, causing his shirt to ride up a little on his waist. She was about to lean back to give him some breathing room but she caught a glimpse of something…something red and purple under the hem of his shirt. Unconsciously, her hand moved to raise the hem of his shirt for a better look but Adrien must’ve caught her gaze because he quickly tugged his shirt back down over his waist.

“Yeah just some b-bad cheese,” He laughed, leaning back on his backpack as he tried to catch his breath. “D-don’t worry, I just need to-”

He trailed off as Marinette’s hand tugged the hem of his shirt out of his grasp and up over his belt, too stunned by the sudden gesture to do anything to stop her. He watched her eyes widen as the ugly red and purple souvenir from the akuma battle yesterday, looking away as he struggled to come up with a better excuse than _cheese._

“ _Cheese_ did this?” Marinette asked, frowning at the bruise as though she was trying to put together a puzzle with half the pieces missing.

“It was, uh, very aggressive cheese,” Adrien joked, Adam’s apple bobbing nervously. “One of those stinky, runny cheeses…must’ve had a bad reaction or something.”

“Adrien,” She clucked, shaking her head and fixing him with an almost disappointed look that abashed him just a little.

“I…look, it was just an accident,” Adrien said soothingly, wincing as Marinette lightly touched the tender, inflamed patch of skin. “Got a little careless that’s all.”

“Careless?” She whispered distantly, not taking her eyes off the injury. He saw a light go on in her eyes that he didn’t recognize…as though he had reminded her of something she had completely forgotten until just then.

“Should be fine,” Adrien said. “So as long as I get some ice on it.”

At that, her eyes suddenly dilated, a small gasp sucking the wind out of her as she stared at the wound as though she knew exactly what caused it. Adrien felt a small ripple of anxiety wash over him as her eyes slowly moved up to meet his, squinting at him as though she had never seen him before in her life. Before he could ask her what was wrong, she sat up, hand covering her mouth and he realized what she must be thinking.

“L-look I know this doesn’t look good but it _was_ just an accident,” Adrien assured her, as she sat up suddenly as though electrocuted, looking between the wound and his face. “I’m not…that is to say things are fine at home…well fine as they’ve ever been but I’m not getting…my dad didn’t do this, I promise.”

Hitting Adrien would actually require that his father pay attention to him which was less likely than Marinette believing what actually caused his injury.

“I…I can’t…” Marinette breathed, sitting back against the wall as she continued to stare at Adrien with a bewildered look of shock on her face. “Are you…are you serious?”

“Marinette?” Adrien said, sitting up as best he could and looking at her with a pair of strikingly familiar green eyes. “A-are you okay?”

The cogs in Marinette’s mind all seemed to click into place at the same time as confusion was replaced with realization that seemed to draw the breath from her body, leaving her gaping like a fish that had been drawn out of the water and left to flop around on dry land.

“You’re starting to worry me,” Adrien said, craning his neck down to look her in the eye. “Marinette?”

She reached out a little, ignoring the pain in her side and any anxiety she might have felt towards Adrien before then. She cupped the side of his face as he suddenly froze, lips trembling ever so slightly, brow knit in confused concern as her thumb slowly traced the outline of something of his cheekbone. Adrien didn’t move; the soft touch of Marinette’s fingers on his face had completely rooted him to the spot. There was something so familiar about the gesture but Adrien was too overwhelmed with the throbbing pain in his side to put it together. Before he could say anything, she had slowly pushed herself off the wall, biting her lip as she slid onto her knees in front of him, hand still lingering on his face and looking at him with a teary eyed, bewildered stare.

“I’m fine,” She said, shaking her head as her eyes seemed to bore a hole in his shirt near his waist. “I’ve…I’ve actually been worried about you, though.”

“M-me?” Adrien stammered. "You...why were you-:

“Yeah,” Marinette laughed, biting her lip as she glanced back up at him. “All day, actually.”

She hadn’t known about the bruise on his stomach until right now so why was she-

“All night, come to think of it,” Marinette sighed, letting out a breath of air as her thumb continued to trail small circles on Adrien’s cheek. “I thought you were…I don’t know, bleeding internally or something. If I didn’t see you I was going to-”

“Marinette, what are you talking about?” Adrien laughed, hand cupping hers against the side of his face as he tried to look her in the eye. “Why were you worried about me? I said I was fine and I-”

“Liar,” Marinette said, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

“I’m not lying!” Adrien insisted. “I really don’t-”

“You don’t have to pretend to be such a tough guy," Marinette said as Adrien blinked slowly, eyes slowly widening. "That...that must sting like crazy, huh?” 

He leaned back away from her hand, eyes never leaving her face as Marinette knelt in front of him expectantly, for once not faltering under his piercing emerald eyes. He opened his mouth as if to say something, pointing at her as he leaned back, squinting as Marinette suppressed a laugh. She had so rarely seen him out of his element but now that he sat there, gaping at her like an idiot, she wondered how she had failed to make the connection before.

“I…you…” Adrien’s hand covered his mouth, chest rising and falling as he looked almost afraid to voice what he thought he knew. His eyes darted to her side suddenly and before he could ask, her hand slowly hiked up the corner of her blouse until the angry red and purple bruise came into view. He let out a small, shuddering gasp at the sight, reaching out for a moment as if to touch her before pulling his hand back in his lap. "T...tire?"

"Tire," She chuckled.

"T...tentacles?" Adrien almost squeaked.

"Still don't know what those were about," Marinette sighed, shaking her head as she glanced back at him, lip caught between her teeth as she tried to decipher his dumbstruck expression. He was quiet for a long moment during which Marinette had plenty of time to fret about whether or not she should have said anything to begin with; whether this was even a good idea or if they were crossing a line that should have never been crossed. He didn't look upset or disappointed (which was a serious concern for her, being considerably less impressive than her alter-ego) but he did have the appearance of being whacked over the head with a large fish; dazed, confused, and wondering if what happened to him _really_ just happened. She felt exposed, waiting for his response; as though he was going to get up or run away or get defensive. But part of her felt a little relived; it was out there for better or worse now and it seemed that Adrien was finally coming to his senses.

“…your eyes are blue,” Adrien said softly after a long moment, lips twitching into a disbelieving smile as Marientte couldn't help but laugh at him.

“Yes,” Marinette snorted. “Thank you for noticing.”

“I…it’s really you, isn’t it?” Adrien all but sighed, looking at her with such _awe_ that she felt her stomach flip as part of her registered the fact that Adrien Agreste was now looking at her like she was a goddess that emerged naked and glowing from the sea foam. It took her a moment to realize that Adrien was looking at her like he...like  _Chat_ looked at Ladybug. For the first time in a very _very_ long time Marinette no longer felt like there was such an insurmountable gap between her and her alter ego.

“Y-yeah,” Marinette said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ears as she tried to will her heart to stop jackhammering in her ears. “It’s…it’s really you too, isn’t it?”

“Yeah it’s…it’s me,” He sighed almost in relief, reaching for her hand before suddenly thinking better of it, cheeks flushing pink and scratching the back of his neck. “Sorry, I-I’m just…I can’t believe it!You were...you were _here_ this whole time and I was _here_ this whole time and we were _here_ this whole time and _no one_ figured it out or- _I mean your eyes are blue!_ How did I...I...I'm not making any sense, am I?"

Adrien he was smiling so widely she thought he was going to pull a facial muscle or something. Oh yeah; that dopey smile was vintage Chat Noir but seeing Adrien looking so nakedly and unabashedly gleeful made Marinette’s heart throb painfully. When had she ever seen him look this excited or happy about anything before?

Marinette let out a small laugh, biting her lip and looking away as Adrien fidgeted a little giddily, rocking back and forth as he scratched the back of his head. Every now and then they would steal glances at one another, invariably breaking into a small, nervous giggle before glancing away, suddenly shy despite the fact that they had known each other longer and better than they though they did this morning.

“H-how’s your side?” Adrien asked as Marinette lifted the hem of her shirt again, bringing the injury back into view and causing Adrien's expression to fall.

“Not bad;I’m not going to die or anything,” She shrugged. “I'm more worried about you…you definitely got the worst of it and I will _literally_ punch you if you say that you’re fine again!”

Adrien’s mouth closed as Marinette shot him a stern smile that squelched any comment Adrien might have wanted to make.

“You don’t feel sick or anything, do you?” Marinette said, expression softening as she reached for the hem of his shirt. His hands clamped over the fabric, looking away a little shyly before reluctantly pulling his shirt up. “Yikes…that still looks bad.”

“Suit took the brunt of it,” Adrien shrugged, glancing down at his injury before trailing back to Marinette’s with a dissatisfied sort of look that was usually reserved for Chat Noir. He didn’t like to see her hurt any more than she liked to see him hurt but unlike her, he took undue pleasure in beating himself up for every bump and bruise that she sustained during a fight. "Are you sure you-" 

“It’s not your fault,” Marinette said softly, reaching out and cupping his chin, forcing him to meet her gaze. “Hey…I’m going to get hurt. There's nothing you can do to stop that.”

"Like hell there isn't," He growled quietly in a way that would have made Marinette's toes curl were it not for the fact that he was still whipping himself over what amounted to a bruise.

"You can't throw yourself in front of every tire or arrow that gets tossed my way," Marinette sighed, resisting the urge to scratch him behind ear to comfort him.

"I've been pretty happy with how I've been doing so far," Adrien chuckled humorlessly.

"I haven't been," Marinette said bluntly. "You think I like watching you get hurt? Or-"

 _Completely erased from the timestream._ The fact that she had almost lost her partner _and_ her friend in one fell swoop so many times made her stomach churn as she slowly reached out for his injured stomach.

“If you blame yourself for that, I’m going to start blaming myself for this,” Marinette said softly, reaching out and touching the skin above his wound. He opened his mouth to protest but Marinette fixed him with a sharp look that was vintage Sabine Cheng. “I _mean_ it; Mr. Tentacles beat you up pretty good already. There’s no reason for you to keep beating yourself up.”

“I...I guess,” Adrien sighed. 

"I mean it," Marinette said quietly.

"I know you do," Adrien said, biting his lip. "But...I'm supposed to watch your back and-"

"We're supposed to watch _each other's_ backs," Marinette reminded him. "This goes both ways, you know. My safety isn't more important than yours..." 

"It is to me," Adrien said softly, glancing away as Marinette shot him a small frown. She knew they were going to have to hammer out this whole business with him taking hits for her eventually but Marinette never once considered that under that black mask of slavish and almost suicidal devotion to her well being was Adrien of all people. It troubled her to think that he was so willing to get hurt for her sake and made her wonder just how well she knew either Chat Noir or Adrien...

"...I don't need you to take a hit for me," Marinette said, swallowing heavily as her hands clenched in her lap. "I...I need _you_...I need you healthy. I want you happy. And you are _not_ going to stop me from making sure you're okay; cat ears or no."

His cheeks flushed in the dim light of the setting sun, swallowing heavily as he looked back at her in almost disbelief. He never thought he'd be kneeling across from an unmasked Ladybug, listening to her worry about his safety. If he were in a more ribald mood, he might have pounced on the fact that she just admitted that she _needed him_ but Marinette had completely disarmed him.

She _needed_ him; she needed _him._ Not Chat; not her partner. _Him._ When was the last time he felt  _needed?_ Or _wanted_ in any real way?

"I...o-okay," Adrien said, trying to fight the lump in his throat down as he looked back at Marinette. "I...I promise I...I'll try to take care of myself a little better..."

He all but bit his tongue, trying to stem the waterworks building up behind his eyes. His father was right; he was too damned sensitive for his own good. He had no reason to be crying other than the nauseating pain in his stomach and Marinette didn't need to be drowned in his snotty, happy tears just because she said she needed him.

“H-hey what’s wrong?” Marinette said suddenly, chest tightening as Adrien’s brilliant green eyes started swimming a little. "Did I say something wrong?" 

"No," Adrien said quickly, shaking his head and angrily wiping his eyes. Now she thought she had done something to upset him. "No I-I'm fine!" 

“Adrien,” Marinette said softly. “What did I say about pretending to be tough?”

“I am tough,” He insisted with a watery chuckle.

“That’s _me_ ,” Marinette reminded him, reaching out to catch a stray tear running down his cheek with her thumb. “ _I’m_ the tough one, remember?”

“Y-yeah,” Adrien said, pressing his cheek into her hand almost unconsciously. “Never doubted it…”

“Adrien...Adrien, look at me,” Marinette said, forcing him to look in her eyes with a hand under his chin. “If you’re upset about something, you can always-”

“I’m not upset,” Adrien croaked, shooting a teary smile to Marinette. “I’m not I...I promise. I’m...relieved I g-guess. I…I guess a small part of me is just happy I’m not alone in all this, you know?”

“You’re never alone, Kitty,” Marinette said softly. “We're partners, remember? We've always been partners.”

“As long as I was Chat, we were,” Adrien said, picking at a thread on his shirt to avoid looking Marinette in the eye. A small lump formed in her throat as she slowly pieced together what Adrien was saying. Because after a long, hard day of fighting akuma and saving the city, Marinette went home, spent time with her parents, made excuses for her bruises and bumps while her mother and father took care of her. An image of a tired, hungry Adrien limping back to an empty house after getting slammed in the stomach by a tentacle suddenly flashed through her mind. She could see him filling an ice pack in an empty kitchen by himself, crawling into bed and trying to sleep despite the throbbing pain in his stomach without so much as a goodnight from his only surviving parent.

And still his first thought after all of that was making sure _she_ was okay.

“We never have that much time on the job so…” Adrien mumbled. “Maybe if we could just talk about…stuff sometime? I guess that’s all I really want...just someone to-”

He trailed off as Marinette slowly slid into his lap, careful not to press up against his stomach as her arms slowly wound around his shoulders as tightly as she dared, shoulders shaking as Adrien found himself quite unable to move.

"Y-you silly cat," Marinette hiccupped, wiping her eyes on Adrien’s shirt. “You c-can always talk to me about s-stuff.” 

“A-Are you crying?” Adrien croaked, looking down at his partner who shook her head against his chest.

“No,” She lied, looking away as Adrien pulled back, a distraught look on his face.

"You _are,"_ Adrien whimpered.

“Okay wh-what am I supposed to do when my p-partner starts crying because he’s so h-happy he has someone to talk to?” Marinette sniffed, turning away as her vision blurred. 

“Damnit I shouldn’t have said anything,” Adrien said, wiping a small stream of tears off Marinette’s cheeks. “Look, j-just forget I said-”

“ _No_ ,” Marinette said as forcefully as she could with snot dribbling down her nose. “I’m not forgetting anything! Y-You can worry about me all you want but I can’t worry about y-you? How is that fair?!”

Adrien’s throat became painfully tight as Marinette leaned back, wiping her eyes as she rested her hands on Adrien’s shoulders, cupping his chin so he could look her in the eye.

“I...I sometimes wondered about you," Marinette said softly, blinking hard to keep her tears out of her eyes. "Where you went after we were done fighting...who you ran home to. I wondered about your friends and your...your family. I wondered who you had in your corner back home; who managed to patch you up when you were hurt or feed you when you couldn't take care of yourself or c-comfort you when this spandex-covered kwami nightmare got too much to handle." 

She had her parents but other than a handful of friends, who did Adrien have?

_Her._

"I don't know who took care of you," Marinette said, hands clenched in her lap as she already knew the answer to that question. "If it was anyone to begin with but...it's me now. Chat Noir has Ladybug...you have me."

Adrien was silent and almost immobile as she leaned in, resting her chin on his shoulder as she saw his eyes well up and lip quiver again. If he wanted to pretend he wasn’t crying, she wasn’t going to look. She would pretend the small tremors that rocked his body and the stifled sniffles as he wrapped his arms tighter around her waist were symptoms of a sudden cold that was sure to pass within a couple of minutes. Besides, if she had to watch him cry anymore, she was going to become a complete mess herself and then Paris’ stalwart defenders were going to be a pair of weepy teenagers clinging together on the floor of an abandoned classroom. As it was, she had to focus on drawing little circles on his back, softly hushing him as he hiccuped and sniffed and shook against her…all symptoms of that unfortunate cold, she reminded herself.

She didn’t know how long they sat there, arms clumsily wrapped around each other like a pair of waterlogged sloths. The tremors subsided after a while, leaving Adrien almost calm in her arms. A month ago she couldn’t conceive of being so close to him without coming unglued but something about knowing Chat Noir made Adrien seem less untouchable; less superhuman, ironically enough. But slow waves of relief washed over her as she realized her partnership with Adrien now extended beyond battles that were becoming more and more fraught with danger. She couldn’t believe that she had someone to fall back outside the fight; someone who knew exactly where her bumps and bruises came from and exactly how to care for them. She had her family, sure, but they would never know Ladybug like Adrien knew Ladybug. And that, if nothing else, made Marinette supremely grateful that Adrien had lost his balance and fallen over. She was almost grateful to the unfortunate race-car discus thrower for marking him so she could find him in the real world…

Were it not for the fact that he threw a _freaking_ car tire at her.

“Sorry,” Adrien sniffed, pulling back after a long moment with a red eyed smile.

“Don’t apologize,” Marinette said, wiping her eyes on the corner of his shirt. "If I can cry on your shoulder, you can cry on mine."

"I'd rather you didn't cry at all," Adrien said, the smallest hint of Chat Noir creeping into his voice **.** She was going to forget time and time again that this sweet, quiet boy she had a crush on had an absolute tomcat lurking just beneath the surface. "But if you have to...you can always cry on me."  

Marinette blushed as Adrien held out a hand for her to shake and shot a small, mischievous smile at her that was pure Chat Noir. 

"Deal?" He asked.

"...deal," Marinette said, slowly taking his hand and shaking it.

"Good," Adrien said, teeth baring as he smirked up at her. "After all...I have to take care of my _purr_ tner, don't I?"

"Oh _god_ the number of cat puns in my life is going to skyrocket, isn't it?" Marinette groaned, pressing her free hand into her eyes as Adrien laughed beneath her. 

"It's a distinct _paw_ sibility," Adrien chuckled, squirming as Marinette shoved him back gently.

"You have _got_ to be kidding me," Marinette said, trying to look exasperated and failing miserably.

"I assure you I'm not-"

"If you say "kitten you" I am going to take you to the pound," Marinette growled, dimly aware of the fact she was still holding on to Adrien's hand.

"I thought you _needed_ me," Adrien laughed as Marinette looked down at him with an exasperated smile.

"I do," She said softly in a way that seemed to completely shut the Chat Noir part of Adrien's brain up (so it _did_ have an off switch).

"I...oh sorry," Adrien said, dropping Marinette's hand as he realized how long he had been holding it. "Forgot,"

“Thought you were going to kiss it for a second, _chaton_ ,” Marinette chuckled, glancing down at her hand a little reluctantly. 

“…I was thinking about it,” Adrien admitted after a moment with a sheepish smile that nearly turned Marinette’s knees to jelly. “Though that’s more of Chat’s thing.”

“Y-yeah,” Marinette said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Kinda is, isn't it?"

“Would be kind of silly if I just went around kissing your hand, wouldn’t it?” Adrien asked quietly.

“Some people might think so,” Marinette said, shifting in his lap as she realized just how close they were.

“Are you some people?” Adrien asked with a shy glance. “If you don’t want me to I understand; just say the word.”

“…I didn’t say that,” Marinette murmured, biting her lip as Adrien’s cheeks pinkened. “Though that _is_ kind of Chat Noir’s thing so…if you _were_ going to do it you would have to do it when no one was watching. To…protect our identities.”

“When it was just us, you mean,” Adrien nodded.

“Yeah...when it was just-” Marinette’s breath caught in her throat as Adrien slowly pulled her hand up to his mouth, eyes locked with hers as he pressed a kiss against the back of her hand. "-uhhh..." 

“That’s not the reaction I usually get,” Adrien murmured against her skin.

“Well...things have changed a little, h-haven’t they?” Marinette coughed, glancing away as Adrien laughed, slowly disengaging himself from Marinette and struggling shakily to his feet.

“Guess they have,” He said, offering his hand to her, wincing a little as she hauled herself to her feet with his help.

“Okay, we need to get some ice on that,” Marinette said, glancing at Adrien’s side as she tugged him towards the door. “Come on.”

“Wh-where are we going?” Adrien asked, stumbling after Marinette who just shot a small smirk over her shoulder.

“You wanted to walk me home, remember?” Marinette said simply. “Got an icepack with your name on it…and maybe you can help me with my French paper?”

“I thought you said you did that already?” Adrien snorted, falling into step beside her as neither one of them seemed particularly interested in letting go of the other’s hand.

“…I may have exaggerated a bit,” Marinette chuckled, scratching the back of her neck as the pair of them wound their way down the hallway towards the front of the school. “I have half of it done but...I mean you know how people talk big in front of their crrruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuumigo?”

“Cr-crumigo?” Adrien said, raising an eyebrow.

“Y-yeah crumigo! It’s, uh, Spanish for…um…cool amigo…” Marinette said, scratching her cheek with her free hand. “Learned it from a pen pal; it’s wh-what all the cool kids in Barcelona call their friends!”

“…huh,” Adrien shrugged. “Really?”

“Y-yeah really!” Marinette said, tugging him on. "C-come on crumigo I think my dad still has some buns for us!" 

The mention of her father's bread managed to override whatever part of Adrien's brain that might have been questioning her. Part of her wanted to let the cat out of the bag (god damnit now she was cat punning), seeing as how Chat Noir made no secret about his affections for Ladybug, but she figured that could wait until they weren’t nursing stomach bruises that made it hurt to laugh.

Besides, she had a limit of one earth shaking, life changing, completely wonderful revelations per day…and there was always tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so begins my great one shot experiment. 
> 
> I was torn between either writing fluff or writing sin for this fandom so like a good mathematician I decided that both answers were correct and so I'm writing both. This is the fluff side; The Love Below to "Satisfaction Brought It Back's" Speakerboxxx. The Suit to "Satisfaction's" Sweat. The Stadium Arcadium Jupiter to "Satisfaction's" Stadium Arcadium Mars. I could go on but you get the message...
> 
> ...The Mesmerize to Satisfaction's Hypnotize. 
> 
> Okay I'm done. 
> 
> So feedback/criticism is ALWAYS welcome since I WILL be writing more of this and I'd like to iron out any kinks with characterization early on. I'd also like to open up the comment section for reveal fic scenarios! I have a couple scenarios in mind already but if y'all have something you'd like to see done just toss it below and if I can jive with it I shall jive with it. Ya picking up what I'm laying down, mack daddies? Are you hip with the funky fresh vibes I am putting down? Am I even down with this funky fresh jive?! 
> 
> We just don't know; stay tuned for more developments. 
> 
> Writing blog is over this way (http://siderealscribblings.tumblr.com/) so check it out if you want some updates/if you want to throw random prompts at me!


	2. Name Drop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Plagg says something he really shouldn't have, Marinette finds Chat Noir on the roof at three in the morning, and Tikki resists the urge to murder her feline partner. Thanks to Doom_Cookie for Prompt Suggestion! 
> 
> Pairings: Adrinette with a side of Marichat. Platonic Plagg/Tikki  
> Content Warnings: None  
> Tags: Humor, Origami, Kwami-focused, Inappropriate use of Rolling Pins

“What did you do?”

It was rare than an ancient and effectively immortal spirit felt anything akin to mortal danger but Tikki had the unique ability to make Plagg feel like the proverbial cat in hell without his claws.

“Intimidating” was a word people rarely used to describe Tikki but then again most people hadn’t known her for literal centuries like Plagg had. He knew better than anyone else that, while Tikki rarely lost her temper, when she _did_ whoever she was angry with usually wasn’t long for the world. Part of him knew his doom was sealed the moment his stupid mouth ran away from him after the akuma battle the day before; maybe that was why he was packing so much cheese in his mouth regardless of its quality.

If he was going to be obliterated, he was going to go out on a full stomach.

Plagg turned around slowly, nearly choking on the mozzarella ball wedged in his mouth as he suddenly remembered someone asking him how scary a ladybug could actually be.

Answer: _Extremely_.

“I…dnh knww wht yo mn?” Plagg shrugged as Tikki’s large, formerly adorable blue eyes bored into him like ice cold drills under the table at the back of the classroom.

“Don’t you?” Tikki said coolly.

“I…”Plagg swallowed heavily as Tikki’s foot tapped against the wooden floor (he knew he screwed up when she descended from her usual floating state just to make it clear how annoyed she was). “Okay…I can explai _owowowowstoppullingmyearstoppullingmyear-oomph_!”

Ripping another hunk of mozzarella off and shoving it Plagg’s mouth, Tikki floated up over the lip of the table, dragging Plagg by his ear until the pair of them rested behind a small set of books resting on the back counter.

“Now, while you’re finishing your snack, I want you to take a look around and tell me _what is wrong with this picture_ ,” Tikki said, tilting Plagg’s head towards the class in session.

“Uh…Ch-Chloe’s blouse doesn’t match her skirt?” Plagg swallowed heavily. “Th-that’s pretty weird, right? Say what you want about the girl but she can throw together an outf-“

Tikki all but twisted his head towards Adrien sitting towards the back of the class. Despite the fact that his teacher was plowing through about four hundred years of French history before the midterm, for once Adrien wasn’t paying attention. His face resembled stewed tomatoes as his eyes seemed to be unblinkingly focused on the back of Marinette’s head as though his teacher was projecting the lesson onto her hair.

“A-Adrien’s spacing out; so what?” Plagg stammered, tail twitching his human partner appeared not to notice the fact that he had knocked his water bottle off his desk or care about the fact that his shoes were currently being drenched. “H-he daydreams all the time!”

“About _what_?” Tikki prompted in a way that suggested she already knew the answer but just wanted to rake the cat across the coals a little.

“You _really_ want a detailed description of what a teenage boy fantasizes about?” Plagg said, suppressing a shudder. “Boy stuff! Clothes, shoes, Nintendos, cars, explosions, earning his frigid father’s affection, sportsball, people in bathing suits, Ladybuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-”

Plagg trailed off with a small squeak, slowly meeting Tikki’s unamused glare. He should have known he couldn’t keep a mistake like this from Tikki for long…he just hoped he could have gotten out of the country first; maybe get a head start on fleeing to Switzerland before the other kwami found out and decided to determine just how many ways there were to skin a cat.

“Would you like to tell me what happened last night?” Tikki asked as calmly as she could manage.

“Uh…y-you’re gonna have to be more specific,” Plagg said, scratching the back of his neck...

* * *

**_Twelve Hours Earlier_ **

_“Alright, who the hell are…Chat?!” Marinette trailed off as a pair of wide green eyes stared up at her, chest heaving under a familiar black leather suit. Two thoughts struck her almost simultaneously; 1) Oh my God I almost killed Chat Noir and 2)-_

_“What the hell?!” Marinette hissed, lowering her pin as the catboy pinned himself against the wall, ears pressed against his head in terror. “It’s three in the morning! What are you doing on my roof?!”_

_“I-Is this your roof?” Chat Noir giggled nervously. “W-wow, what a coincidence! I was just running through the neighborhood and stopped to-”_

* * *

“ _Before_ that,” Tikki sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose as she dragged Tikki towards the door. Marinette caught her eye with a confused frown but Tikki just smiled and waved her off as she shoved Plagg behind her back. She waited until Marinette turned back around before zipping out of the class, dragging the disgruntled cat kwami by his tail through the air...

* * *

**_Twenty Four Hours Earlier_ **

_"...apparently the two of you are working on some sort of assignment for history class?” Sabine said with a small glance at her daughter. “Marinette was telling me about that while we were shopping.”_

_“Oh…r-right,” Marinette laughed, side-eying her mother. “School! We were talking about school…and absolutely nothing else.”_

_"Of course," Sabine said with a small wink that had Marinette's skin darken another few shades towards eggplant. "Are you here to work you project?"_

_“Project...project!” Adrien said as if the idea just landed on him. “Yes! That, that, that’s a completely plausible reason for why I'm here! Yes! I-I-I wanted to talk about the uh…uhhhhhh…”_

* * *

“Before… _that_.” Tikki said, rubbing her temples as she and Plagg perched on a bench outside Marinette’s classroom in a courtyard that was mostly cut off from the rest of the campus...

* * *

**_Twenty-Eight Hours Earlier_ **

_"PUNY MORTALS!” The akuma screamed in a hoarse, nasally voice. “SOON YOU WILL ALL COWER BEFORE THE MIGHT OF LORD HENRY-er...wait no…lord um…give me a second um…uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHYPERION! YES! LORD HYPERION…the uh…THE INVINCIBLE! YES! COWER BEFORE MY INVINCIBLE MIGHT! AHAHAHAHAHAHAH-”_

* * *

 “ _After_ that!” Tikki said, closing her eyes counting backwards from ten so when Marinette found her she wasn’t slamming Plagg’s head in a locker door. No one in the entire universe got under her skin like Plagg did and quite frankly she was embarrassed of the effect he seemed to have on her, making her nonexistent blood boil in her nonexistent veins. No matter how much she tried to like him he always managed to find new ways to rankle her like nothing else did.

The worst part was she didn’t know if he did it on purpose or if he was just so naturally gifted at being able to irritate her. In either case, her friendship with Plagg was like a good absinthe; potentially lethal and best taken in small doses with someone watching you to make sure you didn’t do anything rash.

“I want to know,” Tikki said as calmly as she could muster. “Why Adrien showed up at Marinette’s bakery two hours after the akuma battle yesterday-”

“I seem to recall the word project being kicked around a fair bit,” Plagg snorted, idly paging through a notebook a student left behind on the bench.

“-and why Chat Noir showed up on Marinette’s rooftop at three in the morning,” Tikki said, fixing Plagg with a withering glare.

“…he uh…wanted some bread?” Plagg suggested hopefully.

“Plagg…" Tikki said, taking a deep breath. "What…did…you… _do_?”

* * *

_**Twenty Five Hours Earlier** _

He screwed up…that’s what he did.

In all fairness, Plagg hadn’t woken up the previous morning with the intention to completely rise to the top of Tikki’s Shit List (especially since he had just gotten off of it after knocking over a torch at that library in Alexandria). It was, all things considered, a pretty ordinary Sunday. He was up bright and early at one thirty, ate the rest of Adrien’s quiche while he was checking his social media, blamed a passing pigeon for eating said quiche, and spent an hour or so teaching himself origami out of sheer boredom, almost praying for a akuma attack just to keep himself from turning Adrien’s shelves into a paper furniture gallery.

And the gods, in their infinite sarcastic wisdom, had answered his prayers.

Three thirty found them battling against a particularly egotistical akuma; an engineer who had been passed up for a promotion calling himself Hyperion the Invincible (which he wasn’t, to the shock of _literally_ no one except Hyperion (real name, Henry). In terms of akuma battles, it was disappointingly short even if Henry had started slamming into the ground like a child throwing a temper tantrum. It wasn’t the quickest akuma battle he’d encountered so far but suffice to say Henry hadn’t even completed his evil monologue before he was once again reverted to his squishy, mortal self.

Before too long, Plagg was sprawled out on Adrien’s bed while a newly de-transformed Adrien examined a small bruise he got on his left shoulder…ironically not from the battle.

“You know this crush on Ladybug was cute in a puppy-with-his-head-caught-in-a-shoe kind of way,” Plagg said, lazily scratching his ear. “But now that you _literally_ damaged yourself while going all gaga over her I think we need to have a talk.”

“Don’t you mean we need to have a _chat_?” Adrien chuckled.

“Don’t try and pun your way out of this one, boy; you ran into a light pole after the battle today,” Plagg sighed. “I hate to get all… _Tikki_ on you—”

“Huh?”

“— but if you can’t walk and talk to the girl at the same time without bruising yourself worse than that akuma did, you need to man up and do something other than pine after her like a lovesick kitten,” Plagg said. “It’s getting sad.”

“What am I supposed to do; ask her out?” Adrien sighed, running a hand through his hair. “We can’t exactly go to the movies while on kwami time, you know.”

“Made any headway on the “Hey We’ve Been Partners For A Year Now, Maybe We Should At Least Learn Each Other’s First Names” front?” Plagg asked.

“Same old; same old,” Adrien sighed as Plagg rolled his eyes so far back in his skull the whites were showing. Tikki’s girl had the weirdest hangup about revealing herself that was beginning to grate on Plagg’s nerves. For the life of him, he couldn’t understand why it was that Ladybug seemed to get off on being mysterious and vague where there were (from Plagg’s point of view) literally no drawbacks about knowing Adrien off the clock.

“If only I had some kind of idea of who she was…maybe that would be something to go on,” Adrien mumbled, tugging his shirt off and making his way to the bathroom.

 _If only she had blue eyes and wore her dark hair in pigtails out of costume._ Plagg thought with a dark snort. _If only your friends were friends and if only you sat behind her every day in history class OH WAIT A MINUTE!_

The stupidity of the human race never failed to astound Plagg. Thankfully, Chat Noir didn’t need to be a detective but Adrien wasn’t exactly doing wonders for the perceived intelligence of the modelling community.

“You know for all we talk about “curses” and “bad luck” you don’t exactly take steps to improve your standing, kid,” Plagg called from the bed as Adrien started filling the tub. "I know this is _rich_ coming from me but at _some point_ you need to take responsibility."

“What?” Adrien called back over the roar of the water.

“I said you should try harder to get to know this girl instead of just gawking at her and kissing her hand like a moron!” Plagg shouted back.

“I can’t hear you!”

“If it’s okay to eat all the cheese in the fridge, say what!” Plagg sniggered.

“What?”

“I said Ladybug’s real identity is that Marinette girl and you’re a big jackass for not realizing it on your own!” Plagg snorted, rolling over on the bed as only the sound of silence answered him…absolute silence.

It took a moment for Plagg to realize the tub had stopped filling a few moments before.

“Wh…what?” Plagg’s stomach dropped as he slowly rolled over to see Adrien standing in the doorway of the bathroom, a blank look of confusion on his face as he stared at the petrified kwami.

“What…what did you say about Ladybug?” Adrien asked, frowning down at the kwami. Of course this kid would have supersonic hearing where Ladybug was concerned, wouldn’t he?

“I…I didn’t say anything about Marinette!” Plagg stammered before he realized what he was saying.

_Crap._

“Did…did you just say that…Marinette was Ladybug?” Adrien asked as time seemed to slow to an imperceptible crawl for the soon to be neutered cat kwami. Tikki had made it clear to him (on numerous occasions) that he wasn’t to spill the beans about Marinette to Adrien. Something about respect and partnership and…to be honest Plagg started spacing out and nodding like he always did when Tikki started going on and on and on and **on** like she always did. The only thing he took away from her many, _many_ lectures was “don’t tell Adrien” and “or else.”

Plagg didn’t know what “or else” meant but he knew he had exactly two seconds to pull his tail out of the fire before Tikki _or else’d_ him to death.

“I…y-yeah you know what I did!” Plagg laughed, thinking quickly. “C-can you imagine?! Marinette as Ladybug? I-I mean sh-she can’t even walk down the hall without tripping over her own shoelaces twenty two times! F-funny, huh? Like that total klutz could really be Ladybug, right?”

Plagg grinned up at Adrien who continued to look down at him with a thoughtful frown on his face. After a long, torturous moment, Adrien finally spoke;

“You don’t have to be _mean_ Plagg,” Adrien clucked, shaking his head as he turned to go back into the bathroom.

The door clicked behind him and Plagg let out a long sigh of relief, burying his face in the comforter. That had been a close one; if Adrien hadn’t bought that lame as hell line, Tikki would have skinned him and made some kind of hat out of-

 **BLAM**!

Plagg jumped straight up as the bathroom door swung open with a bang, revealing a wide eyed, open mouthed Adrien half-wet from his bath and clutching a towel around his waist.

“Oh…my…god,” Adrien breathed, voice quavering as he slowly looked at Plagg.

“Ohhhhhhhhh my god,” Plagg groaned as Adrien scrambled over to the bed, nearly slipping a few times on the slick floor in his haste.

“Mari…you said Marinette was Ladybug,” Adrien croaked, pointing an accusing finger at Plagg.

“No I didn’t!” Plagg stammered.

“Y-yes! Yes you did!” Adrien said.

“I-I-I was kidding!” Plagg stammered.

“No…no you weren’t!” Adrien said, running a hand through his hair as he looked out the window mutely. “You said…you said it was Marinette…you didn’t think I could hear you so you…you said…”

Adrien trailed off, rolling over and almost flopping on top of Plagg as he stared up at the ceiling, cogs slowly clicking together in his mind.

“Is...is Ladynette is Maribug?” Adrien squeaked, turning his head to look at Plagg.

“…no?” Plagg said hopefully.

“Plagg,” Adrien said, a little clearer. “You know something I don’t, don’t you?”

“I know a lot of things you don’t!” Plagg pointed out. “Thirty-two thousand nine-hundred and eighty-seven times nine-thousand eight-hundred and three is three-hundred and twenty-four million thirty-one thousand three hundred and one! Princeton University once turned a live cat into a telephone! There’s a giant river of raspberry flavored rum snaking its way through outer space!”

“Really?” Adrien blinked.

“Didn’t know any of those things, did you?” Plagg said, scratching the back of his neck.

“Plagg, please,” Adrien said, frowning at his kwami. “Just…tell me the truth.”

Truth was not something Plagg dealt with on a usual basis. In Plagg’s opinion, truth was like quicksand; rare, disappointing, and to be avoided at all costs. The truth of the matter was that Tikki was going to make a hat out of him if she ever found out that he had accidentally jeopardized Marinette’s identity; the truth of the matter was that, while it was infuriatingly irritating, the fact that Adrien didn’t know who Ladybug was made his life a whole lot easier.

The truth was, also, that Adrien Agreste was one of the more miserable boys to wear the mantle of Chat Noir. Plagg prided himself in being a spirit of misfortune, sowing chaos and woe for his own enjoyment but there was no juice in tormenting Adrien anymore; it was like hitting a piñata that was laying on the ground with Snickers spilling out of its side. There was nothing Plagg could do to him that his father couldn’t surpass by leaps and bounds. And (as long as he was on the subject of truth) the truth was there was some small part of him that wanted to afford Adrien just the smallest bit of happiness.

He was getting soft in his old age.

And who said Tikki got to set the rules? Sure she was older, wiser, more mature, more caring, more responsible, more attentive, more intelligent, more nurturing, more thoughtful, better at foreseeing outcomes to certain situations, a better singer, better at board games, and generally more capable of governing a teenage superhero than Plagg was but that didn’t make her his boss! She didn’t _own_ Marinette’s identity and if Plagg wanted to tell Adrien then who was she to stop him?

Adrien looked at Plagg, green eyes pleading and half-hopeful as his kwami seemed to weigh the pros and cons of letting the cat out of the bag.

“…you need to be cool about this,” Plagg said after a moment.

“I can be cool!” Adrien promised.

“You have _never_ been cool a day in your life,” Plagg said flatly.

“What?” Adrien laughed, leaning on one elbow in what he assumed was a casual way. “That’s crazy! I’m…I’m totally cool. I’m one…one cool cat… _daddy-o_.”

Plagg blinked owlishly at Adrien for a long moment, glancing down with a small sniff.

“You dropped your towel, cool cat,” Plagg said as Adrien glanced down, grabbing at his towel frantically and sliding up onto the bed across from Plagg. “Look, I’m risking my tail just talking to you right now so sit down, shut up, and for the love of all that’s good and holy do _not_ repeat what I am about to tell you to anyone else. If a small, red, extremely bossy ladybug kwami asks you where you heard this, I need you to at least _pretend_ to be smart enough to have deduced it on your own.”

Adrien nodded, leaning in as though Plagg was about to tell him where to find the Holy Grail (incidentally, Plagg also knew _exactly_ where the Holy Grail was but in terms of life changing revelations, he assumed that Adrien would care more about Ladybug’s identity than he would about a fusty cup at the bottom of the Pacific).

“…okay,” Plagg sighed, floating over and plopping into an origami chair on Adrien’s desk. “Okay so…me and Tikki go way, way, _way_ back-”

“That’s the other, kwami, isn’t it?” Adrien stammered. “Ladybug’s I mean.”

“She is also my bloody _doom_ if it ever gets out that I told you this,” Plagg reminded him. “So be cool.”

“Gotcha. Cool. Me,” Adrien nodded. “You were saying?”

“Right…Tikki,” Plagg sighed, shuddering as though saying her name would summon her. “We met up when this whole white butterfly nonsense started to compare notes at Ladybug’s place—“

"Wait, you’ve _always_ known?!” Adrien spluttered. “And you didn’t tell me because…”

“I thought it would be funny,” Plagg shrugged as Adrien yowled softly in indignation. “It was too; watching you go to class with her, talk to her, spend literally hours with her in and out of costume and still lie awake at night, clutching your body pillow and pining after her like you had never met her before.”

“That was _funny_?!” Adrien stammered.

“It _was_ funny,” Plagg shrugged. “Now it’s just annoying. It’s like watching someone try and unscrew a pickle jar for eleven months straight." 

“So you could have told me _anytime_ that the girl I have an all-consuming crush on was right in front of me this whole time and you chose not to because you...” Adrien trailed off, eyes glazing over a little as realization slowly sunk in.

“She was…right in front of me…this whole…time!” Adrien let out a sound like a rubber ducky being trod on by a clown, covering his mouth with his hands and flopping back against the headboard like Plagg just punched him in the stomach.

“Okay, squealing is not cool!” Plagg said, floating up and landing on Adrien’s chest.

“ _Ididntsqueal_ ,” Adrien mumbled behind his hand.

“You did; like a virgin schoolgirl,” Plagg said. “And technically that’s half correct but-”

“Mrnttsldbg,” Adrien repeated, hand still muffling his mouth. “Mrntt…sldbg…”

“Yes…Mrnttsldbg,” Plagg said flatly. “So…now that you’ve completely deduced this on your own with no help from me whatsoever, I’m gonna need you to keep this under your hat for… _ever_. Yeah, forever sounds good.”

“Mari…Marilady is Nettebug,” Adrien mumbled with a small, dazed smile, unblinking eyes staring past Plagg’s waving paw. “She was…she was right in front of me.”

“…Adrien?”

"This whole time..."

" _Adrien?"_

“I…have third period with Ladybug,” Adrien whispered, face slowly splitting into a grin.

“I _really_ need you to work on the cool thing,” Plagg said, clapping his paws in front of Adrien’s face. “Go back to saying daddy-o; that was at least cooler than this is.”

“I’m…I’m cool,” Adrien assured Plagg, rolling off the bed onto shaky legs. “I…wow…Ladybug…Marinette…whole time...wow…”

…well he was smiling at the very least. It was a vacant smile that made it clear that the hamster has left the wheel but a smile was a smile…right?

“Thanks,” Adrien said, heading back towards the bathroom. “I’m just gonna…finish my bath now. Gotta…gotta stew on this for a while.”

“Are you…going to be okay?” Plagg asked.

“Great,” Adrien said, almost dreamily. “Never…never been better.”

The door to the bathroom clicked shut behind Adrien as Plagg let out a small breath he hadn’t realized he was holding.

That had…actually gone better than he thought it would. Sure Adrien was acting a little… _odd_ but Plagg wasn’t the best judge of what was normal when it came to humans (especially those who ran around in catsuits). At least now that he realized that Ladybug was not a flawless angel who descended from heaven each night to save Paris from evil, he might not make such suicidally terrible decisions when it came to her safety. Plagg might have even dulled the shine of Ladybug a bit; now that Adrien realized she was just an ordinary girl, he might not be so hopelessly obsessed with her.

All in all, not bad for a day’s work; Plagg didn’t have many good marks on his Good Cat record but he felt he deserved another wedge of cheese for a job well-

**BLAM!**

Plagg nearly hit the ceiling as the door to the bathroom opened and Adrien stumbled out, undershirt and boxers clinging to his still wet body as he fumbled around for his jeans.

“Adrien?” Plagg said, peeking out from behind the light fixture. “Adrien what are you-”

“I-I-I-I need to see her!” Adrien said, tugging his shirt on backwards and fighting with the sleeves for a good thirty seconds before he managed to get his head through the proper hole.

“Waitwaitwait _what_?!” Plagg hissed. “See who?!”

“Maribug,” Adrien said, tugging his shirt off and shimmying into it again. “I mean… _oh you know what I mean_!”

“What did I _just_ say?!” Plagg squeaked. “What did I _just_ say about being cool?!”

“I'm totally cool,” Adrien said, tripping over his pants and nearly falling on the bed.

“How is _this_ cool?!” Plagg demanded, floating down and feebly trying to pull Adrien’s pants away from him. “What part of this falls into the category of _Not Telling Anyone Ever_?!”

“I’m not gonna say anything to her!” Adrien said, tugging his pants and Plagg out from under the desk.

“So you’re just gonna stand there staring at her wordlessly like a total idiot?!” Plagg grunted, trying to keep Adrien from buttoning his pants to no avail.

“I-I’ll figure it out when I get there,” Adrien said, grabbing his house keys and his wallet as Plagg trailed behind him. “I’ll think of something!”

“You couldn’t even say her name without wedging a Ladybug reference in there ten seconds ago and _now_ you expect me to believe you’re not going to say anything stupid?!”

“Relax; I’m not going to get you in trouble,” Adrien said, being more wrong than he had ever been in his entire life.

“Easy for you to say!” Plagg whimpered, tugging at his ears. “It’s not your tail that gets ripped off if Tikki catches wind of this!”

“No one’s tail is going to get ripped off,” Adrien said, slamming the front door behind him as he stepped out onto the street. “What’s the big deal; how scary can a ladybug kwami really be?”

* * *

Answer: _Extremely_.

Over the years, much to her chagrin, Tikki had lost her temper at Plagg a good number of times. She didn’t like being reduced to a fuming, spluttering mess incapable of coherent thought in the presence of the closest thing she had to a friend and partner but Plagg’s attitude, lack of work ethic, general personality, mean streak, love of mischief, sarcasm, laziness, bad jokes, irreverence, body odor, selfishness, love of foul smelling foods, and general lassiez faire attitude towards anything that didn’t have to do with himself wore on her. Like Chinese water torture or obnoxious overplayed pop music, he grated on her in small doses until her patience wore thinner than Marinette’s father’s crepes. He didn’t even have to _try_ to bring her down to his level; she found herself sinking with every catty remark.

Despite this, she never actually thought he was incompetent or incapable of doing his job…until now.

Tikki gaped at Plagg, large blue eyes unblinking and mouth hanging open as though she couldn’t physically process how someone could make so many monumentally bad decisions in such a short span of time. Almost a year of carefully held secrecy that Tikki had worked so hard to maintain had been dismantled and blown away by a careless cat’s whims like it was nothing and for once, Tikki literally had no words.

Which worried Plagg more than anything else.

In the past, when he inevitably irritated Tikki to the point of anger, she would go through a range of reactions. Endless lecturing that devolved into ranting that devolved into a silent treatment punctuated with snippy remarks that could last literal decades. It was absolutely brutal; Plagg would rather run through a room full of rocking chairs than suffer the Tikki Trifecta of Terror.

But gaping silently was not part of Tikki’s anger ritual which suggested that Plagg had well and truly screwed himself this time.

Plagg waved a hand in front of Tikki’s face. “Are you gonna be o-”

“…it all makes sense now,” Tikki said, walking over to the edge of the bench and sitting down, legs dangling over the side as she stared mutely at the ground. “The…the stammering…the stuttering…the midnight visit…”

“…well it was actually more like three in the morning,” Plagg said before he could stop himself, flinching as Tikki’s head slowly rotated around to fix him with a positively frigid glare.

“Plagg…” Tikki said in a soft voice as she almost vibrated in her seat. “How…could…you…be… _SO_ -”

* * *

_**Twenty Four Hours Earlier** _

“-stupid!” Plagg hissed in Adrien’s ear as he paced back and forth across the street from Marinette’s bakery. “You are being so stupid right now!”

“You don’t say?” Adrien said flatly, having had his stupidity drilled into his head by Plagg on the long walk to Marinette’s house. If Plagg intended to divert Adrien’s path, it hadn’t worked; he had made an absolute beeline for Marinette’s house, vaulting low walls and baby carriages and not faltering until he was just down the street from the bakery.

“Please tell me you didn’t run all the way across town just to stand here like a complete moron,” Plagg sighed. “Because you could do that back home; you did that pretty well back home.”

“I’m thinking,” Adrien muttered back.

“Golly, it’s a day of _firsts_ , isn’t it?” Plagg sneered.

“I just…I just need to cool my heels a bit,” Adrien said, running a hand through his hair before catching sight of his still wet, windswept hair in the window of a store with a small squawk.

“I should have brought one of my chairs then, shouldn’t I?” Plagg sighed, looking around for something he could fold into one since surprisingly the shoulder of a teenage boy was not the comfiest place in the world to sit and it looked like he was going to be standing across the street for some-.

“Adrien?”

Marinette flinched as Adrien spun around in mid air, landing on shaky legs that nearly gave out as he caught sight of Marinette’s baffled expression. So much for standing. Plagg was glad he was holding onto Adrien’s shirt collar when the boy set a new vertical jump record as Marinette’s voice came from behind him. Had he claws, he surely would have attached himself to the awning of a nearby shop but the yowl of surprise he made was catlike enough.

 _Don’t say Ladybug_ , Adrien mentally chided himself, heart hammering in his ears. _Don’t say Ladybug. Don’t say Ladybug don’t say Ladybug dontsayLadybugdontsayLadybugdontsay-_

“Hey there Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-” Adrien’s throat closed, frantically glancing around as he spied Marinette’s mother come out of the shop behind her. “- _dies_?”

“Adrien?” Sabine said with a smile and small nudge in Marinette’s side. “What a coincidence; we were just talking about you.”

“ _Mom_!” Marinette hissed, glancing nervously at Adrien.

“Apparently the two of you are working on some sort of assignment for history class?” Sabine said with a small glance at her daughter. “Marinette was telling me about that while we were shopping.”

“Oh…r-right,” Marinette laughed, side-eying her mother. “School! We were talking about school…and _absolutely nothing else_.”

"Of course," Sabine said with a small wink that had Marinette's skin darken another few shades towards eggplant. "Are you here to work you project?"

“Project... _project_!” Adrien said as if the idea just landed on him. “Yes! That, that, _that’s_ a completely plausible reason for why I'm here! Yes! I-I-I wanted to talk about the uh…uhhhhhh…”

“ _Project_ ,” Plagg hissed in Adrien’s ear.

“Project! The project about the um…things that uh…happened in the past! Right, right; that project,” Adrien laughed, reaching out to causally lean against the tree only to nearly fall as his hand missed the mark by a good foot.

“Y-yeah I was uh meaning to call you to talk about who’s doing what,” Marinette laughing nervously and scratching the back of her neck. “Figured we should hook up-meet up-to uh…work on it or…something? Sorry I’m being kind of a flakey partner, aren’t I?”

“You’re not a flake!” Adrien blurted out without thinking. “Y-you’re an awesome partner you’re the greatest partner a guy could ask for why would you think you’re a flake you’re- _ahhh_!”

“A-Are you alright?” Marinette said as Adrien suddenly clutched his shoulder.

“F-Fine!” Adrien stammered, rolling his shoulders. “J-Just a cramp is all; felt like tiny teeth were digging into my shoulder…but not like _actual_ teeth! Th-that’d be ridiculous! It’s not like I have a tiny creature living in my shirt or anyth- _ahh_!”

“Shut up shut up oh my _god_ shut up!” Plagg hissed, spitting out the residue of bath soap Adrien had failed to wash off his shoulder

“Why don’t you stay for dinner?” Sabine said suddenly. “We were just planning on having sandwiches anyway; the two of you can talk about your little project on the roof while you eat.”

“O-Oh I’m sure Adrien can’t stay that long,” Marinette stammered, fidgeting with the hem of her shirt.

“No, I can stay!” Adrien said, all but wagging his non-existent tail at the mere mention. “I-I mean if it’s okay with you, L- _Marinette_!”

“Oh…w-well I’m totally fine with it,” Marinette said, ignoring Adrien’s near slip up. “A-As long as you want to, of course!”

“I- _ah_ -do!” Adrien said with a clenched teeth grin as he gripped his shoulder. “And no- _ah_ -stabbing- _ah_ -pain in my shoulder is going to stop me!”

“…what?” Marinette said.

“What?” Adrien said

* * *

 “ _What_?!” Tikki squealed. “That was you?!”

“No, Adrien is the only teenage boy in the world who has chronic shooting shoulder pains _of course that was me_!” Plagg hissed. “Apparently acute pain is the only way to shut him up…which is a little tidbit you might want to pass on to your girl, you know, just in case they end up hooking up or-”

“Plagg you can’t…you _can’t_ …” Tikki said, closing her eyes and mentally counting backwards from ten. “You can’t just go around _biting your partner_!”

“Since when?!" Plagg huffed

"Since _always,_ " Tikki sighed.

"Well _someone_ has to stop him from making horrible decisions and I’m the closest thing to a responsible father figure Adrien has and… _wow_ I just realized I’m the closest thing to a responsible father figure this kid has,” Plagg said, pressing his paws against his temples “…that is…that is a _terrifying_ thought.”

“I’m sorry _responsible_?!” Tikki said, antennae twitching. “What part of last night was _responsible_?!”

“Okay I’m new to this whole…responsibility…thing,” Plagg said, waving his paws around vaguely. “There’s a learning curve!”

“One you are currently _wiping out on_ ,” Tikki snipped.

“Hey at least I stopped him from running his mouth for two and a half hours straight,” Plagg pointed out. “That’s got to count for something.”

“Oh, no, you’re right Plagg; biting your human for two and a half hours _completely_ makes up for the fact that you compromised Marinette’s identity and _jeopardized literally everything we’ve been working for_!” Tikki hissed.

“Come on, you’re overreacting,” Plagg said, rolling his eyes. "He isn't going to do anything _aggressively_ stupid like-"

"Visit Marinette as Chat Noir?" Tikki finished.

"...one time that happened," Plagg pointed out.

* * *

_**Twelve Hours Earlier** _

One time more than Plagg would have liked.

Plagg had thought the nightmare that was babysitting Adrien at Marinette’s house had ended several hours earlier. He _thought_ that he gotten Adrien home safely after literal hours hiding in his shirt while the boy sweated like a bank robbing whore in church. He _thought_ that, while questionable, Adrien’s actions weren’t suspicious enough to land him in hot water with Tikki. He _thought_ he could enjoy a nap on Adrien’s pillow and hopefully a good night’s sleep would mellow Adrien out before school the next day. He _thought_ Adrien would be a little more sensible going forward.

It wasn’t until two thirty in the morning when Adrien woke him up, eyes side and dangling cheese in front of his nose that he realized that _clearly_ he _thought_ wrong.

“Wh…what’s going on?” Plagg mumbled, rolling over to glance at the clock on the night stand. “…Adrien if there is not an akuma melting down the Eiffel Tower to make Hawkmoth statues at this very moment, I will _literally_ -“

"Did I wake you?" Adrien asked.

"No I was just lying here, eyes closed _completely awake_." Plagg groused. "At...oh my gods _two thirty in the morning?"_

"Sorry," Adrien said.

"Are you?" Plagg responded. "What on _earth_ possessed you to wake me up at this ungodly-"

“I…I had that dream again,” Adrien muttered after a moment, hair tousled and eyes rimmed red.

“…the one with Ladybug sneaking into your dressing room while you’re changing?” Plagg groaned, slowly floating off the pillow. “Okay say no more; I’ll be in the bathroom. Holler when you’re done and clean up after yourself this time…”

“Not _that_ dream!” Adrien hissed, cheeks flushing scarlet as he snagged Plagg’s tail in mid air. “H-How do you even _know_ about-”

“You talk _a lot_ in your sleep,” Plagg said, crossing his arms as he dangled upside down. “Let’s just say Chat Noir’s secret identity isn’t going to survive your first teenage slumber party…or first game of truth or dare since you can’t lie that well either.”

“…seriously?” Adrien said.

“Yeah…so is this the dressing room dream or the wedding night dream or the making out on top of the Eiffel Tower dream or the “gosh Ladybug there’s only one bed and no heater we’re going to have to share bodyheat somehow” dream or-”

“None of those!” Adrien hissed, almost burying his face in his hand before he realized he was still palming the Camembert. “It…wasn’t a good one.”

“Funnily enough I can empathize with being woken up at three in the morning by something horrifying,” Plagg said dryly, grabbing the corner of a pillow and trying to drag himself back down. “Though I think any dream is better than pubescent Ladybug fantasies. Get yourself some warm milk or something and go back to sl-”

Plagg looked back at Adrien shifting anxiously on the bed, glancing down at the cheese and back to Plagg with his large, green, pleading eyes.

“…oh son of a-” Plagg pinched the bridge of his nose. He forgot that the only thing worse than _sexy_ Ladybug dreams were _the_ dead Ladybug dreams that Adrien got with the same degree of frequency. And judging by Adrien’s haggard expression, Plagg could tell where this was going.

“No,” Plagg said flatly.

“You don’t even know what I’m going to-”

 _“Plagg will you let me transform into Chat Noir so I can zip across the city and make sure Marinette has not been speared with an arrow or swallowed by a T-Rex pretty please?”_ Plagg chirped in his best/most offensive Adrien voice. “That’s what you were going to say, right?”

“I…n-not necessarily,” Adrien mumbled. “I just want to-”

“ _No_ ,” Plagg shot back.

“Twenty minutes,” Adrien pleaded.

“That’s twenty minutes I could spend dreaming of Switzerland,” Plagg said.

“I just want to-”

“Stalk her?”

“I’m not stalking her!”

“No, you’re just looking in her window without her knowing,” Plagg snorted. “While she’s sleeping…yeah that’s not stalkerish at all.”

“…well when you say it like that-”

“Like what; like the truth?”

“Plagg I just want to run by really really quick,” Adrien said, running a hand through his hair with a bleary, tired look. “I know Marinette probably isn’t in any danger but I-I’m not going to be able to sleep unless I do something and I don’t want to watch her sleep or anything I just-”

“Oh my god, deep breaths,” Plagg groused as Adrien laid back against the headboard, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. “You are seriously making me regret letting you in on this little secret; it has been one day and it has brought me nothing but trouble!”

“Okay it’s been less than twelve hours since I learned I’ve been eating lunch with my crush slash partner every day for a year,” Adrien said, hugging a pillow to his chest. “There is a learning curve for cool!”

“One you are clearly wiping out on!” Plagg hissed. “You are one step away from making a _chart of Marinette’s daily activities so you can stalk her!”_

“Plagg, I _swear_ this is the last thing I am going to ask you for,” Adrien pleaded, rolling over onto his stomach to look Plagg in the eye. “Twenty minutes, there and back, and then I _swear_ I’m going to get a handle on this.”

“You know, your track record doesn’t exactly fill me with confidence,” Plagg said, tail twitching so quickly he might as well have gone out for a drumline. “Seriously; every time your stupid mouth is anywhere near Marinette I am in mortal peril because if Tikki finds out-”

“Maiming, skinning, sarcastic mocking; I got it,” Adrien said. “Look, she didn’t figure it out when I was over there today a-and I’ve been over there as Chat Noir before, right?”

“At three in the morning?”

“She’s not even going to notice me!” Adrien said. “Pins dropping are louder than I am when I’m Chat Noir!”

“Now you’re just _lying_ ,” Plagg snorted.

“…what do you want?” Adrien asked after a moment.

“Excuse me?” Plagg said.

“What...what am I going to have to give you to get you to agree to this?” Adrien said after a moment.

“Boy you are out of your tiny little model brain if you think I’m going to risk my hindquarters so you can coo over your sleeping bugaboo,” Plagg sniffed.

“…two and a half kilos of any cheese you want, delivered tomorrow,” Adrien offered.

“I see you didn’t inherit your daddy’s business savvy,” Plagg snorted.

“Three and a half kilos,” Adrien countered.

“You’ve got to be kidding,” Plagg said, rolling over and snuggling back into Adrien’s pillow.

“Four.”

“Adrien, there is _literally_ nothing you can promise me that is going to make me get up off this bed and help you in this ridiculous-”

“Ten.”

* * *

 A shadow across the full moon woke Marinette with a small grunt, the tranquility of her room disturbed by a small flicker that passed her window. Any other teenager might have not noticed the subtle, almost imperceptible change in lighting that lasted for a split second but then again most other teenagers didn’t have Marinette’s track record against akuma…or Akuma for that matter.

She didn’t know if it was the hours she put into latest Street Fighter or her stint as Ladybug that had honed her reflexes but the brief interruption in the pale, early morning moonlight was enough to rouse Marinette from her slumber. Whoever said that supernatural reflexes didn’t come with any drawbacks had clearly never jumped out of bed at two in the morning like a skittish cat because a moth landed on their pillow.

…in her defense, it wasn’t as though she didn’t have good reason to be wary of small winged insects.

“Mnn…what was that?” Marinette groaned as Tikki wormed her way out of her blanket cocoon.

“Nothing,” Tikki said, floating up a few inches before flopping back on the pillow. “Just an owl or something…go back to sleep.”

“Stupid…stupid owls,” Marinette mumbled, rolling over and burying her face in her pillow for a split second before a tell tale sound of boot heels on the roof just above her caught her attention. Marinette froze, straining her ears as she glanced up through the skylight to see if she could spot anything. For a moment, she swore it was just her imagination, settling back against the covers as though nothing had happened.

Then, through the open window, she heard the unmistakable sound of someone talking.

“-stupid…shouldn’t even be here…”

“Tikki,” Marinette hissed, fumbling around for her Miraculous on the night stand. “Tikki, there’s someone on the roof!”

“Mngh…tell them to come back tomorrow…I’m sleepy n-” Tikki slowly opened her eyes, catching sight of Marinette’s panicked expression. “Who is it?”

“I don’t know,” Marinette mouthed, fastening her earrings and slowly crawling out of bed as the voice continued to mumble above her. Reaching around the side of her bed, her hand closed around the old, solid rolling pin her father told her to throw out the week before. She hung onto it because a small part of her knew she could find some use for it. She thought that use was going to be hanging fabric on some kind of makeshift rack; apparently it was going to find use as a bludgeon for would-be intruders first.

“You should transform,” Tikki hissed as Marinette unlatched skylight hatch.

“Good idea,” Marinette whispered. “You can explain to the possible serial killer why Ladybug is climbing out the window of the Dupain’s bakery.”

“Well what are you supposed to do with a piece of wood?”

“Use your imagination,” Marinette said, nudging the skylight open slowly with the corner of her rolling pin, listening hard for any further movement. A low muttering came from the far side of the roof but the moonlight illuminated nothing as she scanned left and right surreptitiously, fingers wrapped around the haft of the rolling pin. She might have been currently lacking any superpowers but Marinette would be damned if she spent most of her free time saving Paris only to let her family’s home be broken into by a stranger at three in the morning. Not while she had strength in her arms and the ability to misuse kitchen equipment for self-defense.

“…ten kilos…so _stupid_ …should just go home…” The voice continued to mutter to himself (it was definitely a man on the roof with her) as Marinette slowly crept up on the chimney behind her, bare feet skimming the roof tiles as she made her way around the side. Peeking around the corner, she spied a tall, dark figure standing with his back towards her, crouched over and running a hand through his hair as he spoke to himself.

“Alright…alright, get a hold of yourself…nothing’s wrong…just overreacting like an idiot,” The figure muttered, standing up suddenly and turning around so quickly Marinette had no time to do anything other than react on instinct. She swung for the intruder’s head, missing it by a scant few inches and smashing the makeshift club on the chimney’s brick façade with a splintering crack that echoed throughout street. The intruder yowled, falling back on his backside as Marinette raised the rolling pin threateningly.

“Alright, who the hell are… _Chat_?!” Marinette trailed off as a pair of wide green eyes stared up at her, chest heaving under a familiar black leather suit. Two thoughts struck her almost simultaneously; _1) Oh my God I almost killed Chat Noir_ and 2)-

“What the hell?!” Marinette hissed, lowering her pin as the catboy pinned himself against the wall, ears pressed against his head in terror. “It’s three in the morning! What are you doing on my roof?!”

“I-Is this your roof?” Chat Noir giggled nervously. “W-wow, what a coincidence! I was just running through the neighborhood and stopped to-”

“You know you've _actually_ been here before, right?” Marinette reminded him, hand on her hip as Chat slowly pulled himself to his feet, brushing himself off as casually as he could. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing!” Chat Noir said in a high, squeaky voice. “Just running through the neighborhood a-and I uh…I th-thought I saw something in your window so I swung by to check!”

“Was that _something_ me sleeping?” Marinette sighed, rubbing her eyes. “What’s going on…i-isn’t Ladybug supposed to be with you or something?”

“Why would I know where Ladybug is?!” Chat Noir blurted out. “I-I-I don’t know her secret identity or anything i-if that’s what you’re insinuating!”

“I…I wasn’t-”

“Good! Because I don’t!” Chat repeated, reaching out to causally lean against the chimney only to fall over as his hand missed the mark by a good foot. “So uh…wh-what brings you to this rooftop, My Lady?”

“I live here, remember?” Marinette said with a small frown. “I’m sorry… _My Lady_?”

“O-Oh that’s just uh…uhhh….you know…what I call all the lovely and talented girls in my life,” Chat Noir said with a small wink.

“Oh…” Marinette sighed, finding herself strangely disappointed at the thought that Ladybug wasn’t the only person Chat referred to by that particular nickname. “Wait, since _when_ have I been in your life?”

“Y-You wound me My… _Princess_ ,” Chat said, running a hand through his hair. “As though I would forget a girl who’s been such a brave and capable ally in our fight against the evil that plagues our fair city.”

“…eh?” Marinette blinked, scratching her back with the rolling pin.

“I…I mean it’s been a while since that whole Evillustrator business,” Chat said, scratching the back of his head. “But I guess I never really forgot about that…I should have guessed then that you were…”

Chat trailed off, green eyes glittering in the shadows that surrounded and almost hid him from view.

“…what?” Marinette said after a moment of pensive silence, throat bobbing a little as Chat looked at her with a curious expression. “Chat…where is this coming from and _why now_ of all times?”

“I…nothing,” Chat said, shaking his head quickly. “I’m…I’m just being stupid.”

“I _really_ wish I could disagree with you there but it’s three in the morning and we’re having a conversation on my roof because you thought you saw something in my room,” Marinette laughs, drawing a throaty chuckle from Chat as he pushes himself off the chimney.

“…thanks,” he says quietly as he passes her, hand making the subtlest grabbing gesture for hers that would have gone completely unnoticed if Marinette hadn’t by chance glanced down at the very same moment. “I needed to…I just wanted to make sure you were alright…”

Now _this_ was odd, Marinette thought to herself. Chat not only seemed to be genuinely sincere for the first time in a long time but why on Earth should he be worried about her of all people?

“I…o-of course I’m fine!” Marinette said, tapping the rolling pin lightly in her hand. “Almost knocked a superhero out; I think I can handle myself.”

“Don’t I know it,” Chat muttered, lingering with one foot on the edge of the building, one foot on the roof behind him.

“Sorry?” Marinette asked.

“Nothing,” Chat said, shaking his head. “I’ll…I’ll see you around. Sleep well.”

Before Marinette could ask after him, Chat flew through the air and landed on the roof across the street, disappearing into the early morning hours as Marinette just looked after him for a moment.

“Did…did that _actually_ happen?” Marinette asked Tikki. “Did I just almost kill Chat Noir in my pajamas and then have something approaching a normal conversation with him?"

“I’m afraid it did,” Tikki said, fluttering up from her spot in Marinette’s pocket. “Did that seem…odd to you?”

“When _isn’t_ Chat Noir odd?” Marinette sighed, traipsing back towards the skylight.

“Odder than usual I mean,” Tikki said, scratching her head.

“I don’t know…” Marinette sighed, dropping back onto her bed and tucking herself under the covers. “I mean…why would he bother checking in on _me_?”

“I don’t know…” Tikki said, glancing out the window with a thoughtful look on her face.

"...still," Marinette murmured, slowly drifting off to sleep. "It's kinda nice to...get some appreciation out of the suit...even if it was at...three in the morning..."

Adrien’s behavior earlier was odd enough but a visit from Chat Noir seemed like too much weird in one day to be unrelated. She wondered offhand if something Marinette had said or done had tipped off Adrien to her real identity…but she was usually so cautious. So concerned with keeping her private life and her work life separate that she took alternate routes home after a mission so no one could connect her to Ladybug. There was always the possibility that Adrien had deduced it on his own but it seemed strange to Tikki that he would suddenly put it together after so long working together as though someone had told him or-

No…no he wouldn’t. He couldn’t…

“Mmm…Adrien…” Marinette muttered in her sleep as Tikki stared out the window with mounting horror. “Tell me…I’m a good partner again…”

"Plagg," Tikki hissed to herself. "What did you _do?_ "

* * *

 "I screwed up, okay?" Plagg said, throwing his paws up. Somewhere in the distance the schoolbell rang but Tikki took no note of it, glaring into the air above Plagg’s head as she struggled to process the surprising turn of events that had transpired the day before. Ladybug’s identity had been compromised, Chat Noir was an even more besotted fool than he had previously been, and ultimately it was all Plagg’s fault.

Though if she was being honest, that last point was hardly much of a surprise to her.

“Plagg…this is far and away the most _reckless_ thing you have _ever_ done,” Tikki said after a long moment of silence.

“Okay we both know that’s not true,” Plagg snorted, quailing as Tikki’s icy gaze leveled at him. “…i-it’s not as bad as Alexandria, r-right?”

“It’s _worse_ because at least then it was only books that were destroyed and not the lives of teenagers charged with protecting the world from evil!” Tikki snapped, levitating through the force of her sheer incredulity.

“I’m sorry…whose life did I destroy here?” Plagg said, feeling the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. He may not have made the best call but ruining lives?

“Marinette’s!” Tikki said. “She didn’t want anyone to know she was Ladybug but I guess that didn’t cross your mind, did it?”

“Oh, big deal,” Plagg sighed, rolling his eyes. “You want to tell her that Adrien is Chat Noir? Be my guest; I don’t see why we have to be all cloak and dagger all the time.”

“No I don’t want to tell her Adrien is Chat Noir because that would make her lose focus!” Tikki said. “Paris needs Ladybug and Chat Noir to work as a professional pair of partners! Knowing each other off the job jeopardizes that!”

“Oh my god, you’re right!” Plagg said, gasping theatrically. “Gods, what have I done? Now that he knows who she is they might…they might… _go to the movies or something_!”

Tikki rolled her eyes as Plagg swooned, clutching at the notebook for support.

“Of course _you_ wouldn’t understand,” Tikki sighed.

"I understand," Plagg countered. "I _understand_ that you're overreacting _as usual_."

"Am I?" Tikki said, crossing her arms. “Look at what happened to Adrien! You told him and he immediately started acting like an…like an… _idiot_!”

“Hey!” Plagg snapped, jabbing a claw at Tikki. “Let’s get one thing straight, _bugaboo_ …Adrien _is_ an idiot. The fact that he failed to deduce Ladybug’s identity without me screaming it at him is proof of that. But _I_ am responsible for that _idiot_ day in, day out, and _I_ am the only one who gets to call him that!”

Tikki blinked at the sudden outburst, frowning thoughtfully at the sudden glint in Plagg’s eyes that she had never seen before. Was he... _sticking up_ for a charge?

“…alright,” Tikki said softly. “I suppose that was out of line…no need to bring the kids into this-“

“Besides, if _anyone_ is the idiot here, it’s Marinette!” Plagg snapped.

“… _excuse me_?” Tikki said, expression hardening and any admiration for Plagg evaporating like ice on a furnace.

 _“Oh Chat Noir, we simply can’t know each other’s identities because…um…uh…oh jeez gotta go!”_ Plagg crooned in a high pitched rendition of Marinette’s voice that made Tikki’s face go redder than anyone previously thought possible.

“W-well _maybe_ she didn’t want lecherous catboys stalking her every move!” Tikki spluttered.

“Oh, we’re gonna talk about _stalking_ are we?” Plagg sniggered. “Well, say what you want about Adrien’s choice of late night activities but at least he doesn’t _have a chart of Marinette’s schedule in his room_!”

“I should have never told you about that!” Tikki groaned. “I knew that was going to follow me around forever!”

“Kinda like how Marinette follows Adrien around _forever_!” Plagg sneered. “And you want to talk about stupid?! Girl knew his every move last year and she _still_ didn’t glean on to the fact that her crush was a furry ninja in his spare ti- _oomph_!”

Tikki had grabbed a wadded up ball of notebook paper and jammed it in Plagg’s open mouth, holding him by the shoulders as she glared daggers into his eyes.

“Not…another… _word_!” Tikki hissed in a way that really shouldn’t have made Plagg’s tail curl in on itself like it did. “You…you have said _more_ than enough!”

“But-” Plagg spat the paper out of his mouth, only for Tikki to pinch it shut again.

“No, you are _done_ talking!” Tikki said. “You don’t get to talk about any of this _ever_ again! Not to Adrien, not to Marinette, not to _anybody_!”

Plagg opened his mouth to respond but froze as his eyes wandered over Tikki’s shoulders.

“Um…maybe I should just go-” Plagg said, starting to float away before Tikki stamped her foot down on his tail.

“I’m sorry, are you seriously trying to get out of this discussion?!” Tikki demanded.

“Not really but-”

“You’re acting like this doesn’t even matter!”

“Tikki,” Plagg said, nodding over Tikki’s shoulder. “Maybe you should just stop talk-”

“Are you telling me to shut up?!” Tikki squealed. “No! I get to talk now! I _need_ you to understand how badly you fouled things up!”

“I get that but-”

“No buts! Your lack of foresight has _completely_ jeopardized everything we’ve been working towards!” Tikki groaned, pressing her palms into Plagg’s cheeks and forcing him to look her in the eyes.

“I get that but-”

“I mean wh-what do you think this is, Plagg?! You think we can just go around flinging facts around like beads on Mardi Gras?!"

“Um…”

“I mean why _don’t_ you just tell Marinette about Adrien while you’re at it?! Let’s just get it all out in the open and hang the consequences since we're all just _sharing things_ today!”

“Tikki-”

“Why don’t you just crawl into Adrien’s backpack, get his phone, dial Marinette’s number and tell her?!” Tikki squeaked as Plagg turned around, tore a page out of the stray notebook and slowly started folding it in on itself. "It's not like this could get _any_ worse!" 

Plagg glanced over Tikki's shoulder with a small shrug, opening his mouth as if to say something before thinking better of it.

 _“Hi Marinette! This is Plagg; I’m a cat that’s the size of a thimble that smells of runny cheese all day, every day!”_ Tikki said in the best/most offensive rendition of Plagg’s voice she could manage as she held an imaginary phone up to her ear. “ _Why am I calling? Well, you know that boy you’ve had a debilitating crush on for nearly a year now?! Well guess what? You have more in common than just fashion! He also spends his nights pressed into skin tight clothing and running around on Paris’ rooftops!”_

"...what?"

 _“Bet you’d never guess that Adrien is Chat Noir huh?”_ Tikki continued, completely ignoring the fact that it was not Plagg who had interrupted her. _“Yeah, why don’t you just take a minute and think back to that whole Dark Cupid business?! Yep, that’s right Marinette, you can barely talk in complete sentences to Adrien yet you **planted one on him without thinking twice about it**!”_

“T-Tikki?”The voice behind her broke through Tikki’s hazy cloud of all-consuming irritation long enough for her to realize they were no longer alone in the courtyard. Tikki tore her attention away from Plagg’s origami experiments, slowly turning around to see a very red, very wide eyed Marinette standing behind her, bookbag dangling limply from her wrist as she pointed mutely at Tikki.

“...what?” Marinette squeaked.

“I…um…M-Marinette, this isn’t what it looks like,” Tikki said, looking to Plagg for support. “How much did you-"

“I...you...A…Adrinoir i-is Chatdrien?!” Marinette mumbled, pointing between Plagg and Tikki.

“No! L-Look, I know what you just heard must be confusing,” Tikki said, floating up and waving her hand in front of Marinette’s blank expression. “B-B-But I promise I have a good explanation for thi-”

“Marinette?” Tikki’s stomach dropped as Adrien rounded the corner into the secluded courtyard, stopping when he caught sight of Marinette.

“Hey you forgot your textbook; Alya wanted me to give it to-” Adrien’s throat dried up as Marinette slowly turned around, pointing at Adrien with the same mute look of shock as her head snapped back and forth between Plagg and Adrien.

“ _...cat?"_ Marinette asked, pointing between Plagg and Adrien whose face was rapidly losing whatever color it had. "Cat? You? You...y-you cat?"

“I…I uh…” Adrien stammered as Marinette slowly turned back to Tikki.

"What?!" Marinette squeaked.

“I…um… _Plagg_ ,” Tikki hissed, turning to Plagg who had finished his origami chair and set it up on the corner of the bench. “Do you have something to say?”

“Sorry; I’d love to help but I’m not allowed to talk to anyone about this anymore,” Plagg said, hopping into his origami chair and leaning back with a feral smile. “Not Marinette…not Adrien… _not anybody_.”

 _I hate you_ , Tikki mouthed silently before turning back to the pair who were looking between Tikki and each other with mounting confusion.

“…okay,” Tikki said. “I can explain.”

* * *

 “Oh my god, I can’t watch this. This is horrible.”

“…really?”

“The partnership of Ladybug and Chat Noir is dissolving before my very eyes.”

“Okay…I get it.”

“Oh woe is me for having sullied such a professional partnership. Paris—nay, the entire world—is doomed now.”

“That’s enough, Plagg…”

“The horror. The unimaginable horror. If only I had listened to Tikki this nightmare show could have been avoided and the fleshy denizens of this world might have been spared an awful fate.”

“Shut _up_ , Plagg.”

“We are all living on borrowed time as our cosmos hurtles inevitably towards its grisly end,” Plagg said in the flattest voice imaginable, biting off a hunk of cheese as he leaned back in his paper chair, holding the wedge out to Tikki. “Yh wnt sme?”

“…I’m fine,” Tikki sighed, glancing across the courtyard at the pair of teenagers sitting across from one another on the grass, vending machine snacks and sodas piled around them as they chattered quietly amongst themselves while their kwami were exiled to the bench under the tree. After what seemed like an eternity of stammering, stumbling over words, and nervous laughter the pair had broken off from their kwami to talk by themselves (which given how badly they had messed things up, was probably for the best). Tikki caught snippets of conversation on the wind but astonishment melted into mutual geeking out over the other which melted into a shy, semi silence as the pair tried their hardest to work on their history project together.

“Admit it; they’re doing better than you thought they would,” Plagg said, licking his paw.

“…for now,” Tikki sniffed. “Whether this holds up when an akuma strikes remains to be seen…”

“You know, the world has come to a pretty pass when a kwami of bad luck is more of an optimist than you are,” Plagg snickered, dusting his paws and pulling another strip of paper out of the notebook. “You want me to make you a chair? I think we’re gonna be here a while.”

“I don't even know anymore,"  Tikki sighed. "Maybe I was just too caught up with trying to keep her safe."

“…or a therapist’s couch?” Plagg said, pulling out two sheets. “If you wanted to protect her, you wouldn’t let her transform.”

“Irony of the job, isn’t it?” Tikki chuckled. “We’re supposed to watch over them but at the same time we’re supposed to help them rush into danger. What are we supposed to do?”

“Dunno,” Plagg shrugged, plopping down another chair next to his as Tikki floated into it. “You could always do what I do.”

“As little as possible?” Tikki snorted.

“Exactly,” Plagg chortled. “Less of a chance to screw up that way.”

“Though somehow you still find a way,” Tikki said.

“Hey, things turned out okay!” Plagg yowled, gesturing to Adrien who caught Marinette’s eye as they both leaned in to glance at the textbook, holding her gaze for a brief moment before they looked away, chuckling to themselves.

“No thanks to you,” Tikki reminded him, shifting a little in her chair. “…or rather no thanks to us.”

“Ah give yourself some credit,” Plagg said, leaning back in his chair. “They’re alive, aren’t they?”

“Today,” Tikki said. “But what about tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow _and_ tomorrow _and_ tomorrow,” Plagg sighed, rolling his eyes. “Tomorrow they could be hit by a meteor or fall down a flight of stairs or catch the black plague-”

“It isn’t the Dark Ages anymore,” Tikki snorted.

“You gotta let em make their own mistakes,” Plagg said with a small shrug. “If you try and keep every little hardship away from them, you’ll never stop working…and as much as you get off on being Ms. Responsibility-”

_“Plagg!”_

“-you gotta take it easy every now and then,” Plagg snorted. “I feel like we have this conversation every hundred years or so.”

“Probably have it in another hundred,” Tikki said, eyes clouding over as Marinette laughed so hard at something Adrien said, soda came out of her nose.

“You know what’s gonna happen now, right?” Plagg said after a moment.

“What?” Tikki asked as Plagg’s face split into a broad grin.

“They’re gonna start _daaaaaating_ ~” Plagg sing-songed

“Oh you don’t know that,” Tikki snorted as Adrien leaned over to wipe up some of the soda off Marinette’s cheek. His hand lingered there for a moment, hers on the back of his before they pulled back, chuckling nervously and glancing at one another out of the side of their eyes.

“They’re gonna get _maaaaaaaaarried_ ~” Plagg giggled

“Y-you’re being childish!” Tikki said as Plagg slowly leaned over and whispered four words that caused a cold spike of fear to shoot straight through her heart.

“ _We’re gonna be roooooooooooooooooooooooomies_ ~”

* * *

 “Did...did you hear that?” Adrien said, glancing back up the hill where a high pitched shriek like a helium escaping a crack in a balloon pierced through the late afternoon air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First prompt suggestion I've done! Props to Doom_Cookie for the suggestion; it was definitely a lot of fun to write. First time playing with humor here and I definitely want to do a few more funnier ones in the future so feedback on this one is much appreciated. And yes the Akuma was a reference to Hyperius the Invincible; consider this literary teabagging after my friends Harold and Rubi got through with him. 
> 
> Took some liberties with Tikki and Plagg's relationship since we don't really have anything to go on but just based on their personalities, I can see them getting on each other's nerves a fair bit. I figured if anyone could make Tikki blow a hypothetical blood vessel it would be Plagg. Which isn't to say I don't see them as friends but they love each other far more than they actually like each other...if that makes any sense. 
> 
> Anyway! R&R is greatly appreciated. Still pretty new to this fandom but I have been so thoroughly sucked into it and honestly really welcomed by it. I'm really stunned by the response my stories have gotten so far and feel really inspired to continue writing for the only love square I will ever condone. I've been fandoming for a long ass time (a LONG ass time) and I have to say this fandom definitely knows how make fanwriters feel appreciated!
> 
> As always I post WIPS/Cut content on my writing blog (http://siderealscribblings.tumblr.com/) mostly to have some kind of accountability. I will note if there's a director's cut version and link it in the end notes but for now this is the whole fic! And as always you can send suggestions in through the ask box there or in the comments here. 
> 
> Next time I think we got Ladrien/Ladynoir Hurt/Comfort unless I get a better idea. I'm going to try to balance out the feelsy fics with some lighter ones but crying catboys is my aesthetic so no promises. Now if you'll excuse me I need to make like Prequel and make a cat cry...

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Preludes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8779201) by [Chiomi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chiomi/pseuds/Chiomi)




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